Parenting Insights #8: Being late
Are you usually late for work? Or for a meeting? Is Christmas late?
I think the answer to the questions above is (or it should be!) NO. Then, are you ever late keeping a promise you made for your child? These questions came to my mind when I realised that I was late with the Parenting Insights newsletter. I should have sent it yesterday, but I just had so much stuff to do that I was completely out of time, and, in the evening, I just crashed and wasn’t able to do anything else. So, sorry, first of all, and I hope you understand this won’t become a rule.
Because being late is never good as a rule, and especially when it comes to your kid. Kids need structure and patterns in their lives, as grown-ups do, because this brings them certainty. Then certainty provides security, and when a child feels secure, her/his mind can be busy with a lot of interesting stuff which help the brain develop. If you tell your child you’ll be there at 5, then be there at 5, don’t think that “she/he’s only a kid”. Would you do that to your life partener, or to your boss at work? I don’t think so.
It’s good to treat kids like grown-ups sometimes, especially when it comes to rules and timing. These build character, and it’s never too early to do that. It’s for your family’s benefit! You don’t agree? Well, I read something very interesting about this, and it practically suggests some reverse psychology, asking readers to try to behave with their partners the way they would behave with a child. It would be at least funny for your significant other to talk to you like “Don’t touch that.”, “Keep that up, and I’m taking away your car keys.” or “Do you want to go to the park? No? Well, we’re going to the park anyway”. But how would you feel?
So, it seems that a bit of seriousness when it comes to parenting is well worth it, and it also applies to being late for your child. Your offspring won’t see it (probably) as disrespect, but, instead, will LEARN that this is the right way to behave, and then will copy your behaviour when growing up.
What are the usual downsides of being late for an event, for example? Well, they don’t look good at all. It can result in lost opportunities, it shows lack of commitment, and not to mention it’s plain rude.
Now imagine that someone does the same with their child: being late on delivering promises or just being late getting home. Lost opportunities? Lack of commitment? Rudeness? Would you like your child to see you this way?
Too many questions for a late newsletter? Let me know in the comments’ section, because this is published and open for reading by anyone, signed up or not :)
Until this Sunday, when I’ll (definitely) send you my next childhood story,
Stay safe,
Ioana
P.S: I’m working on changing the sign up / subscribe options to my two newsletters, because I know they’re kind of a little mess right now. But I’m new to this so please bear with me! I’m still figuring stuff out.
And a little reminder about why I do this:
I am sharing my childhood stories as the base of the Past Tense Newsletter because, on the one hand, writing them is very healing for me, and, on the other hand, my Eva loves them, so I thought why not try and see if anyone else at least likes them?
And when it comes to Parenting Insights, it’s even more straight-forward: I know how hard it can be sometimes to be a parent, and I’m trying to provide parents like me with some extra-insight on topics which I personally experienced and know that would be helpful to them.
So, if you agree…